January 26, 2026
Navigating Military Divorce near Fort Lee: Special Considerations for Service Members and Spouses
By Joe Cravens, President and Partner at Cravens & Noll, P.C.
Military divorce is fundamentally different from civilian divorce, and if you’re a service member stationed at Fort Lee or the spouse of someone serving there, you need to understand these differences before you take any steps forward.
I’m Joe Cravens, and I served as an Army Judge Advocate before establishing my law practice. Over the past three decades practicing family law in the Richmond and Petersburg area, I’ve represented both service members and military spouses in divorce proceedings. What I’ve learned is that military divorce requires specialized knowledge of federal statutes, military regulations, and Virginia state law – and understanding how all three interact is essential to protecting your rights and your future.
If you’re facing divorce while connected to Fort Lee, this guide will walk you through the key legal considerations you need to understand. Virginia divorce law is complex on its own, but military divorces add layers involving the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act, military pension division under federal law, deployment considerations for custody, and questions about retaining military benefits after divorce.
Let me break down what you need to know.
Why Military Divorces Are Different
Military divorces operate under a combination of Virginia state law, federal statutes, and Department of Defense regulations. The two most important federal laws are the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) and the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (USFSPA). The SCRA laws was created to protect service members from legal actions during deployment, while the USFSDA exists to ensure fair treatment of military spouses.
Here are the key factors that make military divorces legally distinct from civilian cases:
Jurisdiction and Residency Issues In a typical Virginia divorce, you need to establish residency – one spouse must have lived in Virginia for at least six months before filing. But military families move frequently. You might be stationed at Fort Lee, but your legal domicile could be another state entirely. Your spouse might have moved back to their home state. These complications affect where you can file for divorce and which state’s laws will govern your case.
The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) This federal law provides critical protections for active-duty service members involved in civil proceedings, including divorce. If you’re deployed or on active duty orders, SCRA can delay divorce proceedings so you’re not forced to handle legal matters while you’re serving overseas or engaged in military operations. While this protects service members, it can be frustrating for spouses who are trying to move forward with their lives.
Military Pensions and Retirement Benefits Military retirement pay is often the most valuable marital asset. Division of military pensions is governed by USFSPA, which allows state courts to treat military retirement as divisible property. However, specific federal rules dictate how much can be divided, when it vests, and how long you must be married to qualify for direct payment from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS).
Military-Specific Benefits Beyond retirement pay, military families must consider Tricare health benefits, Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH), commissary and exchange privileges, and Survivor Benefit Plans. Access to these benefits after divorce depends on meeting specific time requirements, particularly the 10/10/10 or “20/20/20 rule.”
Child Custody During Deployment Virginia law requires courts to consider the best interests of the child in custody cases. However, military service adds complexity when a parent receives deployment orders with limited notice. Virginia has specific statutes addressing how deployment affects custody arrangements.
Jurisdiction: Where to File for Divorce
Determining where to file your military divorce is one of the first critical decisions you’ll make. For families connected to Fort Lee, you typically have several jurisdictional options.
Virginia Residency Requirements Under Virginia law (Virginia Code § 20-97), you can file for divorce in Virginia if:
- Either spouse has been a resident of Virginia for at least six months before filing, OR
- The last place you lived together as married spouses was in Virginia, and either spouse continues to reside there
Military Domicile vs. Residence Service members can maintain legal domicile (their home of record for tax purposes) in one state while stationed in another. You might claim Texas or Florida as your domicile while living at Fort Lee. For divorce purposes, you generally can file in:
- Your state of legal domicile
- Your spouse’s state of legal domicile
- The state where either spouse currently resides
Why Jurisdiction Matters Different states have different laws governing property division, spousal support, and child custody. Virginia uses “equitable distribution” for property division, meaning assets are divided fairly based on multiple factors, not automatically split 50/50. Community property states follow different rules. The state where you file determines which laws apply to your divorce.
Practical Considerations for Fort Lee Families If you’ve been stationed at Fort Lee and have established residency in Virginia, filing here provides several advantages. Virginia courts in the Petersburg and Richmond area regularly handle military divorces and understand the unique issues involved. However, your specific circumstances – including where your spouse resides and where your assets are located – should inform this decision.
The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act: Understanding Federal Protections
The SCRA (50 U.S.C. §§ 3901-4043) is federal law that provides important protections for active-duty service members in civil proceedings, including divorce.
What SCRA Protects SCRA allows service members to request a stay (temporary delay) of civil proceedings if their military duties prevent them from appearing in court or adequately defending themselves. This ensures service members aren’t hit with default judgments while deployed or unable to participate in legal proceedings.
Requirements for SCRA Protection To qualify for a stay under SCRA, the service member must demonstrate:
- They are currently on active duty or within 90 days of release from active duty
- Their military duties materially affect their ability to appear in court
- They have a viable defense to the legal action
Duration of SCRA Stays The initial stay is typically 90 days but can be extended if military duties continue preventing the service member’s participation. In cases involving extended deployments, proceedings may be delayed for a year or longer. However, SCRA doesn’t prevent divorce – it postpones proceedings until the service member can adequately participate.
Important Limitations Once a service member returns from deployment and has reasonable time to engage legal counsel and prepare their case, SCRA protections generally end. Courts will not allow indefinite delays simply because someone is on active duty.
For Military Spouses If your spouse is invoking SCRA protection, understand that this is a temporary delay, not a permanent bar to divorce. An experienced military divorce attorney can help navigate these delays while protecting your interests and ensuring SCRA isn’t being misused as a stalling tactic.
Dividing Military Retirement Pay Under USFSPA
Military retirement is frequently the most valuable marital asset, and its division is governed by the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act (10 U.S.C. § 1408). Understanding USFSPA is critical to protecting your financial interests.
What USFSPA Does: USFSPA doesn’t require military retirement to be divided – it authorizes state courts to treat military retirement pay as marital property subject to division under state law. Virginia courts then apply equitable distribution principles to determine how it should be divided.
The 10/10/10 Rule Explained The “10/10/10 rule” is commonly misunderstood. Here’s what it actually means:
If you were married for at least 10 years, have over 10 years in service, if overlap between marriage and service, 10 years of creditable military service, the former spouse can receive their portion of retirement pay directly from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service (DFAS). This is called “direct payment.”
Important clarification: Even if you don’t meet the 10/10/10 rule, retirement pay can still be divided – the former spouse just receives their portion from the service member rather than directly from DFAS.
Division Limits and Calculations USFSPA allows states to divide up to 50% of a service member’s “disposable retired pay.” Virginia courts use equitable distribution principles, considering factors including:
- Length of the marriage
- Overlap of marriage with military service
- Each spouse’s financial circumstances and contributions to the marriage
- Each spouse’s role in enabling the service member’s career
The Coverture (Time Rule) Formula Virginia courts typically use a coverture formula to calculate the marital portion of military retirement:
(Years of military service during marriage / Total years of creditable service) × Retirement pay × Percentage awarded to spouse
For example: A service member completes 20 years of service, with 15 years occurring during the marriage. The marital portion would be 15/20 (75%) of the retirement pay. If the court awards the spouse 50% of the marital portion, they would receive 37.5% of the total retirement pay.
Critical Language Requirements The divorce decree must use specific language that complies with DFAS requirements. Improperly drafted decrees can result in DFAS refusing to honor the division, leaving the former spouse unable to collect their awarded portion.
Child Custody, Visitation, and Deployment
Child custody in military divorces requires addressing both Virginia’s custody standards and the realities of military service, including deployment and relocation.
Virginia’s Best Interest Standard Virginia courts determine custody based on the best interests of the child (Virginia Code § 20-124.3), considering factors including:
- Each parent’s role in the child’s upbringing
- The child’s age and developmental needs
- Each parent’s relationship with the child
- Each parent’s ability to maintain the child’s relationship with the other parent
- The child’s adjustment to home, school, and community
- Each parent’s physical and mental health
- History of family abuse, if any
In military divorces, the court also considers the service member’s military obligations and their impact on the child’s stability.
Deployment and Custody Modifications Virginia Code § 20-124.2:1 specifically addresses military deployment and custody. Key provisions include:
- Deployment alone cannot be the sole factor in a permanent custody modification
- Courts can create temporary custody arrangements during deployment
- The service member’s custody rights generally resume upon return from deployment
- Courts must consider the best interests of the child when making deployment-related custody decisions
Creating Effective Parenting Plans Military families need detailed parenting plans that specifically address:
- Advance notice procedures when deployment orders are received
- Communication methods during deployment (video calls, email, care packages)
- Temporary custody arrangements – who cares for the child during deployment
- Make-up visitation after deployment ends
- Relocation procedures when permanent change of station (PCS) orders arrive
- Decision-making authority during deployment for medical, educational, and religious decisions
Family Care Plans: Active-duty service members with dependents are required by military regulation to maintain a Family Care Plan designating a caregiver for their children during deployment. This plan should align with your divorce decree’s custody provisions to avoid conflicts.
Spousal Support and Military Pay Considerations
Spousal support (alimony) in military divorces involves unique calculations due to the structure of military compensation.
Virginia Spousal Support Law Virginia courts award spousal support based on factors outlined in Virginia Code § 20-107.1, including:
- Each spouse’s income, earning capacity, and financial resources
- Duration of the marriage
- Standard of living established during the marriage
- Age and physical/mental condition of each spouse
- Each spouse’s contributions to the marriage (financial and non-financial)
- Each spouse’s needs and obligations
Components of Military Compensation When calculating a service member’s income for support purposes, courts consider all elements of military pay:
- Base pay – the fundamental salary component
- Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) – housing compensation, amount varies by location and dependency status
- Basic Allowance for Subsistence (BAS) – food allowance
- Special pays – hazardous duty pay, flight pay, overseas pay, etc.
BAH and Dependency Status BAH rates differ significantly between “with dependents” and “without dependents” status. During separation, service members may claim “with dependents” status if still legally married. After divorce, without custody, the service member typically receives the lower “without dependents” rate.
This change affects both the service member’s ability to pay support and should be considered when negotiating support amounts.
Support Enforcement Military regulations require service members to provide adequate financial support to family members. Department of Defense regulations state that service members must comply with court-ordered support obligations. Failure to pay can result in military disciplinary action in addition to civil contempt proceedings.
Health Care and Military Benefits After Divorce
Understanding which benefits you retain after military divorce is critical, particularly regarding health care coverage through Tricare.
The 20/20/20 Rule – Full Benefits Retention A former spouse retains full military benefits indefinitely if they meet all three requirements:
- The marriage lasted at least 20 years
- The service member performed at least 20 years of creditable service
- There were at least 20 years of overlap between the marriage and military service
Benefits retained under 20/20/20 include:
- Full Tricare health coverage
- Commissary and exchange privileges
- Use of military recreational facilities
- Retention of military ID card
The 20/20/15 Rule – Temporary Coverage If you meet these criteria, you receive transitional Tricare coverage for one year:
- 20 years of marriage
- 20 years of military service
- At least 15 years (but less than 20 years) of overlap
This one-year coverage provides time to secure alternative health insurance.
Continued Health Care Beneficiary Program (CHCBP) Former spouses who don’t meet the 20/20/20 or 20/20/15 rules may purchase continued Tricare coverage for up to 36 months under CHCBP. You must enroll within 60 days of losing eligibility.
Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) SBP provides continued retirement income to survivors if the military retiree dies. Former spouses can be designated SBP beneficiaries, but this must be specifically addressed in the divorce decree.
Critical timing: The service member must elect former spouse SBP coverage within one year of the divorce decree. Missing this deadline means losing the option permanently.
Benefits Considerations in Settlement Negotiations These benefits have significant monetary value. If you’re close to meeting 20/20/20 requirements, the timing of your divorce filing can determine whether you retain lifetime benefits or lose them entirely. This should factor into settlement negotiations and divorce timing decisions.
Military Divorce Considerations Specific to Fort Lee
Fort Lee, home to the U.S. Army’s Combined Arms Support Command and Sustainment Center of Excellence, is one of Virginia’s largest military installations. The Petersburg and Richmond area courts regularly handle military divorce cases and are familiar with the unique issues involved.
Local Court Experience The proximity to Fort Lee means local courts in Petersburg, Hopewell, and Richmond frequently address:
- SCRA stay requests
- Military pension division
- Deployment-related custody modifications
- Military benefits preservation issues
This local familiarity can benefit military divorce cases filed in these jurisdictions.
Available Support Services Fort Lee provides resources for military families, including:
- Army Community Service (ACS) family advocacy programs
- Military and Family Life Counselors
- Staff Judge Advocate office for basic legal information (limited to general guidance, not representation)
Understanding Legal Assistance Limitations, The JAG legal assistance office at Fort Lee can provide general legal information and help with basic documents like powers of attorney. However, they cannot represent you in divorce proceedings. You need private counsel for divorce representation.
Why Military-Focused Legal Experience Matters Military divorce requires understanding both military culture and complex legal frameworks. An attorney with military experience – whether through service or extensive practice with military families – brings practical knowledge about:
- How military command structures work
- Communication with commanders when necessary
- Military benefits systems and their requirements
- The specific challenges military families face
Common Mistakes in Military Divorces
Understanding these common errors can help you avoid costly problems in your military divorce:
- Hiring Attorneys Without Military Divorce Experience Military divorce law is specialized. General family law attorneys without regular military divorce experience may miss critical issues involving:
- Proper USFSPA language for pension division
- SCRA protections and limitations
- Military benefits eligibility requirements
- Deployment custody provisions
- Improper Military Pension Division Language Divorce decrees must use specific language that complies with DFAS requirements. Common errors include:
- Failing to specify “disposable retired pay”
- Not using the proper coverture formula
- Omitting required legal citations
- Using imprecise percentage calculations
These errors can result in DFAS rejecting the pension division order entirely.
- Missing the 20/20/20 Threshold Spouses who are within one or two years of meeting the 20/20/20 rule should carefully consider divorce timing. The difference between 19 years of overlap and 20 years of overlap is the difference between lifetime military benefits and no benefits.
- Failing to Address Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP) SBP elections must be made within one year of the divorce. Missing this deadline means losing the option permanently. The divorce decree should specifically require the service member to elect former spouse SBP coverage.
- Neglecting Deployment Provisions in Custody Orders Custody orders that don’t specifically address deployment create ambiguity and future litigation. Clear provisions about temporary custody during deployment, communication during deployment, and post-deployment resumption of custody prevent conflicts.
- Ignoring Differences in State Law If you or your spouse maintains legal domicile in a different state, understand how that state’s laws might affect your case. Community property states have fundamentally different property division rules than Virginia’s equitable distribution system.
Next Steps: Getting Appropriate Legal Help
Military divorce near Fort Lee requires navigating Virginia family law, federal military statutes, and Department of Defense regulations. The decisions you make will affect your financial security, your relationship with your children, and your access to military benefits for years to come.
As someone who served as an Army Judge Advocate before establishing my law practice, I understand both the legal complexities and the practical realities of military life. That background, combined with over three decades practicing family law in Virginia, has given me specialized knowledge in military divorce cases.
What to Expect in a Consultation When you meet with an attorney experienced in military divorce, the consultation should address:
- Your specific circumstances and goals
- Jurisdictional options and which state’s laws should apply
- Timeline considerations, including SCRA implications if applicable
- Military pension division using proper USFSPA calculations
- Benefits eligibility and the impact of divorce timing
- Custody arrangements that account for military service requirements
- Strategy for protecting your rights and financial interests
Taking Action Time-sensitive issues in military divorces include:
- SCRA protections if deployment is imminent
- 20/20/20 eligibility if you’re approaching the threshold
- SBP elections (must be made within one year of divorce)
- Custody provisions before deployment orders arrive
At Cravens & Noll, we provide consultations for military divorce cases. This allows you to discuss your situation, understand your options, and make informed decisions about how to proceed – without obligation to proceed.
Since 1995, Cravens & Noll has served Virginia families with a commitment to being “Your Lawyers for Life.” We handle not just your immediate legal needs but provide ongoing counsel for whatever challenges you face throughout your military career and beyond.
If you’re a service member stationed at Fort Lee, a military retiree, or a military spouse facing divorce, get experienced legal counsel that understands your unique circumstances. The complexity of military divorce law requires specialized knowledge – make sure your attorney has it.
Contact us to schedule a consultation so we can help you navigate the complexities of your military divorce.
The information provided in this blog is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Military divorce cases are complex and highly individual. For specific advice about your situation, contact Cravens & Noll, P.C.
Joe Thompson Cravens Is the President of Cravens & Noll, P.C. in Richmond where he practices in the areas of personal injury, criminal law, domestic relations and military law. Mr. Cravens received his B.A. degree from the University of Virginia and his J.D. degree from the College of William & Mary. Commissioned an officer in the United States Army, 1984, Commissioned a United States Army Judge Advocate (JAG) 1987. Veteran of “Operation Just Cause”, Panama, December 1989-February 1990. “Operations Desert Shield and Desert Storm”, Saudi Arabia, Iraq and Kuwait, August 1990 – May 1991.
He is a past adjunct professor at Nova University and has spoken on law of war to service members, pre-deployment and reservists. Mr. Cravens is a member of the Virginia State Bar, and the bars of the U.S. Court of Claims, the U.S. Court of Military Review, the U.S. Court of Military Appeals, the U.S. 4th Circuit Court of Appeals and the United States District Courts for the Eastern and Western Districts of Virginia, the Virginia Trial Lawyers Association, The American Association for Justice, the Richmond, Chesterfield/Colonial Heights, Henrico County, and American Bar Associations.
Mr. Cravens is a Life Member of the Million Dollar Advocates Forum, which is an organization of attorneys who have received verdicts or settlements in excess of $1,000,000.00. Less than 1% of all trial lawyers in America qualify for membership.
In 2023, Mr. Cravens was once again selected as a Top 100 National Trial Lawyer in the Commonwealth of Virginia.
October 8, 2025
What Are The Stages of Separation in Divorce
Understanding The Stages of Separation in Midlothian with Cravens & Noll
In Virginia, a no-fault divorce requires you to be separated from your spouse for at least one year. However, if you have a signed agreement and no minor children together, this period can be reduced to six months in your separation in Midlothian (and across Virginia).
During this phase, your marriage may feel like it’s in limbo. You might be uncertain about what is or isn’t allowed—both in your interactions with your spouse and in the dating world.
In some Virginia courts, legal separation doesn’t necessarily mean living under separate roofs. If you meet the standards for “in-home” separation, it may be considered valid. This typically requires physical separation—such as living in separate rooms or separate residences—and a clear intent to divorce. Proving separation while living under the same roof can be challenging, especially if you have children.
In practical terms, in-home separation means minimizing interactions that characterize a marital relationship. You and your spouse should no longer cook for each other, do each other’s laundry, or maintain joint bank accounts.
Despite the challenges of this period, there is a silver lining. The transition allows you and your spouse to emotionally process the end of your marriage, helping you navigate the stages of separation with greater clarity.
Like any significant loss, the end of a relationship involves a grieving process. The widely recognized five stages of grief, introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying, apply to divorce as well. While everyone moves through these stages differently, most experience them in some form and order.
Denial: Struggling to Accept Finality
In the denial stage, you may find it difficult to accept that your marriage is truly ending. This is a natural response and part of making peace with your inner optimist. However, prolonged denial can be problematic if it leads you to rationalize the issues that led to the divorce in the first place.
Moving past denial means reaching certainty about your decision. You’ll be ready for the next stage once you fully accept that ending the relationship is the best course of action.
Anger: Struggling to Accept Peace
Once denial fades, anger often follows. Accepting that the divorce is happening may lead to frustration—whether at your spouse, yourself, or the circumstances that led you here. While these emotions may seem negative, they are a natural part of the process.
Acknowledging your anger without letting it consume you is key. Suppressing it can make the next stage—bargaining—even more challenging.
Bargaining: Struggling to Accept True Justice
Bargaining often arises as an attempt to find relief from the emotional discomfort of separation. You may entertain thoughts of reconciliation or be tempted to compromise your rights regarding custody, finances, or personal well-being.
It’s important to remember that, in Virginia, the separation period must be marked by an intent to divorce. If you waver in this commitment, it could impact your legal standing or lead to decisions that are not in your best interest. Reaffirming your certainty from the denial stage can help you navigate this phase wisely.
Depression: Struggling with Feeling Trapped
When bargaining fails to bring resolution, feelings of sadness or hopelessness can take hold. Recognizing that there’s no easy way to undo the separation in Midlothian can be disheartening, leading to a sense of entrapment.
While feeling down is normal, prolonged depression can affect your well-being. If it begins to impact your quality of life or leads to thoughts of self-harm, seek professional support. Divorce is challenging, but help is available, and you don’t have to face it alone.
Acceptance: Hope for Your Post-Divorce Future
Few people bypass the earlier stages and jump straight to acceptance. It takes time to fully process the emotional weight of a divorce. However, reaching acceptance is a powerful milestone. It enables you to move forward with clarity, free from resentment, self-doubt, or unnecessary compromises.
From a legal standpoint, approaching divorce proceedings from a place of acceptance positions you for the best possible outcome. Our team of experienced divorce lawyers serving Richmond, Chesterfield, and Harrisonburg, Virginia, is here to support you in securing a fair and favorable post-divorce arrangement.
If you have questions about divorce in Virginia, explore our website or contact us for more information.
Cravens & Noll – Your Lawyers For Life
At Cravens & Noll, an experienced Virginia law firm, we are Your Lawyers For Life and have protected and served the rights of over 30,000 people just like you throughout Virginia across 4 Decades in Business. This is why we have been voted one of The Best Law Firms and The Best Attorney in Richmond by the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
We know that every legal case is always…personal. No matter what you are facing right now our attorneys will provide the solutions you need, at a reasonable price. Whether divorce, personal injury, criminal charges, or bankruptcy. We work hard to be your lawyers for life. That means giving your individual case the one-on-one attention and care it deserves.
Our team of trusted and local lawyers will never give false expectations about the potential outcome of your case. You can count on a realistic assessment of your case, in order for you to make a sound decision.
With offices in Richmond and Harrisonburg, we will assist you with dedicated and professional legal advice. In times like this, you need answers, stability, and confidence. Our calculated approach quickly evaluates and stabilizes your situation immediately to prepare you for the legal matters ahead. Our goal as your attorney is that you feel immediate relief from the moment you contact us. We can meet with you face-to-face, by video, by telephone, or together in our office.
Contact our Virginia attorneys today for a consultation. At your appointment, we will ease the burden on your shoulders and provide you with options on how to proceed. Before taking a case, Cravens and Noll lawyers provide an initial consultation for clients.
September 10, 2025
What Should Be Included in a Divorce Settlement
Getting a divorce can be a long and difficult process. Emotions are high as you end what you thought would last forever. One of the most contested yet important parts of a divorce is writing up the divorce settlement agreement. This process involves sitting down with your ex-spouse and determining how you both will split your assets. Reaching an agreement can be stressful, especially if the other party is uncooperative or you go in without a plan. You may not fully understand what should be included in the agreement. While there are plenty of assets that need to be split between a divorced couple, there are some common items that every agreement should include. This post will help to dispel any general questions or concerns you might have about creating a divorce settlement agreement in Midlothian.
How A Divorce Attorney Can Help You
A lawyer argues for your best interests. These agreements can be made before or after you officially separate, but it’s recommended that you complete the agreements.
This helps the divorce process go smoothly, helping you avoid any extra lawyer fees or complications in court.
It’s recommended that you hire a family law attorney to advise you during the agreement proceedings. Your attorney will fight for your rights and help both you and your spouse reach a compromise on certain points.
How Does a Divorce Settlement Work?
When you and your spouse decide to separate, you both need to determine who gets what assets and, if with children, how you both plan to support them.
The point of a divorce settlement agreement is to put these plans in writing to make them legally binding.
Every marriage is different, meaning your separation in Midlothian isn’t going to look like anyone else’s. While there are common elements of each divorce settlement, like splitting assets and determining child support, you should consider what you both want, specifically.
Begin By Gathering Necessary Documentation
You should gather as much documentation or information as it relates to salaries over the past several years, values of investments, amounts of debt, and values of real estate, and tax returns. You do not have to have every document before meeting with an attorney, but it is helpful to begin the drafting of a divorce agreement if you have this information.
Be as Detailed as Possible in Your Agreement
When starting your divorce agreement in Midlothian, it’s important to include as much relevant information as possible.
This information helps the court to understand the conditions of your marriage and separation.
While you should consult with an attorney to make sure you don’t leave anything out, here are some standard pieces of information to include:
- Date of your marriage
- Date of your separation
- Why you’re getting divorced
- If you have any, the names and ages of your children
- Your current living arrangements and addresses
Find and Divide Your Assets
This is when tensions begin to rise in a divorce proceeding. It’s important to fairly divide the assets between each spouse. These assets include any properties or debts shared by the spouses.
This can include cars or houses, along with their respective loans and payments. This is where having an attorney comes in handy.
They will:
- Protect your best interests during these proceedings
- Help you both figure out all of your assets
- Help you accurately divide them.
As you both figure out how to split your shared assets, it’s important to compromise on certain items and stay steadfast on others.
Deciding Child Custody
Child custody is probably the most contested agreement in any divorce.
Deciding child custody and creating a parenting plan are emotionally charged discussions between two spouses. You both love your children and want what’s best for them.
Be sure to figure out the plan that’s best for them, not yourselves.
You can choose between one parent having sole and physical custody, joint legal custody with one parent have primary custody, shared legal and physical custody, and split custody
Sole custody:
- One parent is the physical custodian and decision maker, while the other is given reasonable access to the child for visitation
Joint Legal Custody:
- Both parents have equal say for important decisions, one parent has physical custody and the other parent has visitation.
Shared Custody:
- Both parents share equally say for important decisions, and both parents have significant time with the child/children.
- Does not have to be 50/50, it can be that one parent has weekends during school and equal time during the summer. The custodial time can vary depending on the parent’s schedules and the best interest of the children.
- If both parents can work reasonably well together, this is often times the best for the children.
Split custody:
- Is fairly rare
- It involves one parent being responsible for one child, while the other is responsible for another child.
- This plan is usually only used in special circumstances, like if there are many children or if the child is old enough to make their own decisions.
Agreeing on Child and Spousal Support in Virginia
When determining how much should be paid towards child support, the amount is based on what state you’re in.
Virginia has a calculator to determine how much child support one may have to pay depending on incomes, health insurance and daycare costs.
Spousal support is much more difficult to determine. This is often times the most difficult issue to negotiate and settle in a divorce agreement.
While you cannot keep a child from receiving support, you can waive your spousal support, also known as alimony.
Double Check Everything In The Settlement
Before you turn in your divorce settlement, make sure you double check everything in the document.
Make sure all of your spelling and grammar is correct and that both you and your spouse agree on the terms.
This is one of the most important steps of the divorce process. Once the agreement is legally binding, it is what the legal system will refer to when issues with your separation are brought forward.
Divorce Agreement Attorney
Deciding your divorce settlement agreement in Midlothian can be stressful and time-consuming. That’s why you need an attorney you can trust to fight for your best interests.
The divorce attorneys at Cravens and Noll have years of experience in handling all parts of a separation case.
Contact us to schedule a consultation so we can help you during this difficult moment in your life.
At Cravens & Noll, an experienced Virginia law firm, we are Your Lawyers For Life and have protected and served the rights of over 30,000 people just like you throughout Virginia across 4 Decades in Business. This is why we have been voted one of The Best Law Firms and The Best Attorney in Richmond by the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
We know that every legal case is always…personal. No matter what you are facing right now our attorneys will provide the solutions you need, at a reasonable price. Whether divorce, personal injury, criminal charges, or bankruptcy. We work hard to be your lawyers for life. That means giving your individual case the one-on-one attention and care it deserves.
Our team of trusted and local lawyers will never give false expectations about the potential outcome of your case. You can count on a realistic assessment of your case, in order for you to make a sound decision.
With offices in Richmond and Harrisonburg, we will assist you with dedicated and professional legal advice. In times like this, you need answers, stability, and confidence. Our calculated approach quickly evaluates and stabilizes your situation immediately to prepare you for the legal matters ahead. Our goal as your attorney is that you feel immediate relief from the moment you contact us. We can meet with you face-to-face, by video, by telephone, or together in our office.
Contact our Virginia attorneys today for a consultation. At your appointment, we will ease the burden on your shoulders and provide you with options on how to proceed. Before taking a case, Cravens and Noll lawyers provide an initial consultation for clients.
February 16, 2021
What Evidence Do You Need to Prove Adultery in Virginia
20-40% of marriages end because of adultery in the United States. According to a study released in 2018 by the Institute for Family Studies, 20% of married men and 13% of married women have admitted to having intercourse with someone besides their spouse.
While adultery may not be as common as media and popular culture makes it out to be, it is still devastating if you find out your spouse is seeing someone else behind your back. In Virginia, adultery is a “fault” grounds for divorce and can be used to start your divorce proceedings immediately.
Before you start driving to the courthouse, it is important to have evidence before beginning your divorce proceedings. Virginia requires a lot of evidence for adultery, and your case for adultery may not be successful if you do not have the evidence the court requires.
If you believe your spouse is cheating on you, make sure to be prepared before filing for divorce.
How Adultery is Defined in Virginia
Every state has their laws and definitions of adultery. In Virginia, adultery is defined by the law as “Any person, being married, who voluntarily shall have sexual intercourse with any person not his or her spouse shall be guilty of adultery.”
Under this law, adultery is considered a Class 4 misdemeanor, making it a criminal act. While most spouses accused of adultery do not receive criminal charges during divorce proceedings, this still shows how seriously adultery is taken in Virginia courts.
While adultery is a serious charge, it also requires serious evidence to use as the basis for your divorce. The state requires “clear and convincing” evidence to grant a divorce under these grounds. This means you need substantial proof that your spouse has had sexual intercourse with another person.
What Evidence Do You Need?
While adultery is a serious charge, it also requires serious evidence to use as the basis for your divorce. The state requires “clear and convincing” evidence to grant a divorce under these grounds.
On top of this, the accused spouse can invoke their Fifth Amendment right and refuse to give any self-incriminating evidence to the court. This means you need substantial proof that your spouse has had sexual intercourse with another person.
The key is to prove that the spouse did act on their infidelity and did not just plan it. While you can use as much incriminating evidence as you want, only a few can serve as the backbone of your divorce case.
- Confession: One form of proof is a confession from the spouse that committed adultery. If you have a voice message, text, or email from them admitting to the infidelity, this can form the core of your argument.
- Corroboration: Virginia requires corroboration of evidence in a divorce proceeding. This means you need a piece of evidence or testimony from a source outside the marriage. Most people resort to a private investigator to gather testimony and photographic evidence.
- Incriminating messages: Access to emails or text messages between your spouse and the other person can only strengthen your argument. While talking about a romantic dinner or planning to visit a hotel are not evidence that anything happened, they can back up the more definitive pieces of evidence.
These are common examples of evidence used in adultery divorce cases. It is important to speak with an experienced family law attorney before building your case and gathering evidence. This attorney can help you gather the best evidence for your case and build the strongest argument possible.
Common Defense for Adultery Charges
No matter how strong your evidence is, it is important to note that the accused spouse can defend adultery accusations in a few ways. There are in fact 4 ways the accused spouse can defend themselves in court when accused of adultery.
- Condonation: If a spouse finds out about the adultery and decides to continue the relationship, that’s condonation. Essentially, if you find out that your spouse has cheated and decide to stay with them, you cannot use adultery as grounds for divorce.
- Connivance/Procurement: One defense is if the “innocent” spouse encourages and facilitates the affair. So, if you intentionally planned or encouraged the infidelity, then adultery cannot be used in your divorce case.
- Recrimination: If both spouses are cheating, and the accused can prove it, then your adultery argument can be thrown out. Of course, the other spouse has the same challenges as you to prove adultery, so this defense is equally difficult to use.
- Time-barred: Adultery has a 5-year statute of limitations in Virginia. So, if the infidelity occurred more than 5 years ago, you cannot use it as the basis for a divorce.
It is important to consider every side of your specific situation and take note if your spouse could use these defenses against you.
Defend Yourself with Experience
As you have seen, adultery is not only a serious offense under Virginia law, but it also requires plenty of clear and decisive evidence to prove in a divorce case. Worst of all, the accused spouse has many avenues to use to defend themselves from the accusation, which can ruin your case in an instant.
Because the proceedings can be so sensitive, it is important to have an experienced family attorney on your side. They can use their expertise to create a case based on your specific situation, advising you on what evidence to gather and what steps to take to give yourself a fighting chance in court.
If you are looking for an accomplished and knowledgeable family law attorney, look no further than Cravens and Noll.
Our family law attorneys care about your family getting the compensation and safety it deserves and will work with you to reach the best possible outcome. They can call on decades of experience to offer you the best legal defense.
Schedule a consultation to begin building your divorce case.
At Cravens & Noll, an experienced Virginia law firm, we are Your Lawyers For Life and have protected and served the rights of over 30,000 people just like you throughout Virginia across 4 Decades in Business. This is why we have been voted one of The Best Law Firms and The Best Attorney in Richmond by the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
We know that every legal case is always…personal. No matter what you are facing right now our attorneys will provide the solutions you need, at a reasonable price. Whether divorce, personal injury, criminal charges, or bankruptcy. We work hard to be your lawyers for life. That means giving your individual case the one-on-one attention and care it deserves.
Our team of trusted and local lawyers will never give false expectations about the potential outcome of your case. You can count on a realistic assessment of your case, in order for you to make a sound decision.
With offices in Richmond and Harrisonburg, we will assist you with dedicated and professional legal advice. In times like this, you need answers, stability, and confidence. Our calculated approach quickly evaluates and stabilizes your situation immediately to prepare you for the legal matters ahead. Our goal as your attorney is that you feel immediate relief from the moment you contact us. We can meet with you face-to-face, by video, by telephone, or together in our office.
Contact our Virginia attorneys today for a consultation. At your appointment, we will ease the burden on your shoulders and provide you with options on how to proceed. Before taking a case, Cravens and Noll lawyers provide an initial consultation for clients.
August 31, 2019
Checklist for a Virginia Parenting Plan
All parents have rights and responsibilities regarding care for minor children, so custody and visitation will be a primary issue in a Virginia divorce case. Courts tend to favor a shared approach to these issues, so that the child enjoys a strong relationship with each parent. A report published by the Institute for Family Studies confirms the benefits of a co-parenting arrangement, stating that children in such environments experience better outcomes with respect to overall well-being.
To achieve these positive outcomes, state law encourages divorcing couples to come up with a parenting plan that addresses the various issues that arise in shared parenting. A Virginia child custody attorney can provide specific recommendations based upon your unique situation, but a checklist for parenting plans may offer some guidance.
Joint Custody Issues: Under Virginia’s definition of joint custody, both parents share in the responsibility for the child’s care and each has the power to make decisions regarding important issues involved with raising him or her. Examples include determinations on education, health care, extracurricular activities, and others. The parenting plan should identify which decisions require mutual agreement, as well as how parents will go about resolving disputes.
Default Time Sharing: For practical purposes, one parent will likely have residential custody – which doesn’t not affect joint custody in terms of decision making. However, that does mean that the other parent has the right to parenting time, traditionally referred to as visitation. The parenting plan should address when and how the non-residential parent will exercise visitation rights on a routine, regular basis; usually, this will revolve around the school year. The plan should also mention the protocol for what happens when one parent cannot participate in time sharing because of work or personal reasons.
You should note that the arrangement of both custody and visitation must comply with the Virginia’s best interests of the child standard. Even if you can agree upon a parenting plan, a judge may still reject it if it doesn’t support the 10 factors listed in the statute.
Time Sharing for Breaks and Holidays: Aside from the default provisions on time sharing, your parenting plan should include provisions regarding school breaks, holidays, and other special occasions. For example, it’s common for parents to alternate major holidays and the child’s birthday. Each parent should expect to have the child for his or her own birthday, plus respective Mother’s and Father’s Days.
Expectations Regarding Parental Communication: Probably the most critical component of the parenting plan is communication, because of the benefits for coordination and compromise on raising the child. You should set up specific parameters for how often you discuss child-related issues and what happens in the event of an emergency, as well as many other matters.
Contact a Virginia Child Custody Lawyer About Your Case
To learn more about parenting plans and how to structure an arrangement that works for your family, please contact Cravens & Noll PC to claim your initial consultation. Our family law attorneys represent clients throughout Central and Western Virginia from our offices in Richmond, Chesterfield, Henrico, and Harrisonburg. We can provide additional information after reviewing the details of your case.
At Cravens & Noll, an experienced Virginia law firm, we are Your Lawyers For Life and have protected and served the rights of over 30,000 people just like you throughout Virginia across 4 Decades in Business. This is why we have been voted one of The Best Law Firms and The Best Attorney in Richmond by the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
We know that every legal case is always…personal. No matter what you are facing right now our attorneys will provide the solutions you need, at a reasonable price. Whether divorce, personal injury, criminal charges, or bankruptcy. We work hard to be your lawyers for life. That means giving your individual case the one-on-one attention and care it deserves.
Our team of trusted and local lawyers will never give false expectations about the potential outcome of your case. You can count on a realistic assessment of your case, in order for you to make a sound decision.
With offices in Richmond and Harrisonburg, we will assist you with dedicated and professional legal advice. In times like this, you need answers, stability, and confidence. Our calculated approach quickly evaluates and stabilizes your situation immediately to prepare you for the legal matters ahead. Our goal as your attorney is that you feel immediate relief from the moment you contact us. We can meet with you face-to-face, by video, by telephone, or together in our office.
Contact our Virginia attorneys today for a consultation. At your appointment, we will ease the burden on your shoulders and provide you with options on how to proceed. Before taking a case, Cravens and Noll lawyers provide an initial consultation for clients.
March 29, 2019
Potential Reasons your Virginia Prenuptial Agreement Could be Deemed Invalid
Virginia is an equitable property state, which means that during a divorce, your marital assets will be divided in an equitable manner. Equitable does not mean equal. If you have a prenuptial agreement and it is deemed invalid, the court will divide assets according to Virginia law, not your contract. This is why it’s crucial to have your prenuptial agreement drafted by a Virginia family law attorney.
Here are some of the reasons your prenuptial agreement could be deemed invalid during your divorce.
Agreement is Not in Writing or Signed
The law does not allow for oral prenuptial agreements. Your marital agreement must be in writing in order for the court to determine its validity. And, on that note, if you have it in writing and it’s not signed by your spouse, the agreement will be declared invalid.
You Broke Up Before the Marriage
If you have joint assets prior to the marriage, you may have included those on your prenuptial agreement. If you end up breaking up before the wedding takes place, the agreement won’t be valid as the act of marriage is what would make it valid. To split up the assets you own jointly, you may have to litigate some of these issues.
Your Agreement has Invalid Provisions
The court will determine your prenuptial agreement is invalid if it contains invalid provisions. The courts give considerable latitude when it comes to what a prenuptial agreement can contain. However, if your agreement is in violation of a federal or state law, the judge may deem the whole agreement invalid. There is a chance the judge may only strike the clause that is invalid, but is it worth taking that risk to include something questionable in your agreement?
Agreement Contains Fraudulent Information or Assets are Missing
In order for a prenuptial agreement to be valid, both parties have to disclose all their financials. This includes income, debts, assets, and any other liabilities. If one party is attempting to hide assets or puts fraudulent information in the agreement, there is a good chance the judge will declare the entire agreement invalid. It’s important to be as transparent and forthcoming as possible in a prenuptial agreement so you do not run the risk of your soon to be ex claiming you purposely hid assets or misrepresented some information in the agreement.
Your Agreement is One-Sided
A prenuptial agreement that heavily favors only one party will likely be thrown out. You cannot draft an agreement that leaves one spouse in complete financial ruin in the event the marriage breaks up. These types of agreement are referred to as unconscionable contracts and won’t stand up in court.
Retaining a Virginia Marital Agreement Attorney
In the event you need to have a prenuptial agreement drafted, or you have been presented one to sign, it’s important to speak to a skilled Virginia premarital agreement attorney. By ensuring your soon-to-be-spouse has your agreement reviewed by his or her own independent attorney, it eliminates any claim of being forced to sign under duress or that they lacked mental capacity to sign. Contact Cravens & Noll PC at 804-330-9220 to schedule a consultation.
At Cravens & Noll, an experienced Virginia law firm, we are Your Lawyers For Life and have protected and served the rights of over 30,000 people just like you throughout Virginia across 4 Decades in Business. This is why we have been voted one of The Best Law Firms and The Best Attorney in Richmond by the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
We know that every legal case is always…personal. No matter what you are facing right now our attorneys will provide the solutions you need, at a reasonable price. Whether divorce, personal injury, criminal charges, or bankruptcy. We work hard to be your lawyers for life. That means giving your individual case the one-on-one attention and care it deserves.
Our team of trusted and local lawyers will never give false expectations about the potential outcome of your case. You can count on a realistic assessment of your case, in order for you to make a sound decision.
With offices in Richmond and Harrisonburg, we will assist you with dedicated and professional legal advice. In times like this, you need answers, stability, and confidence. Our calculated approach quickly evaluates and stabilizes your situation immediately to prepare you for the legal matters ahead. Our goal as your attorney is that you feel immediate relief from the moment you contact us. We can meet with you face-to-face, by video, by telephone, or together in our office.
Contact our Virginia attorneys today for a consultation. At your appointment, we will ease the burden on your shoulders and provide you with options on how to proceed. Before taking a case, Cravens and Noll lawyers provide an initial consultation for clients.
December 18, 2018
Factors to Consider in a High-Net-Worth Divorce
Getting a divorce can be a stressful experience for most couples. However, those couples who are considered high income earners and have a large asset portfolio may find the process even more stressful and complex. It’s important to retain a law firm that specializes in Virginia high-net-worth divorce cases.
Virginia is what’s known as an equitable distribution state. It is not a community property state where things are typically split 50/50. The courts have discretion to take different factors into account that could change their decision on how to divide marital assets. The idea of equitable distribution is that both partners walk away with a fair split of the assets.
Here are several things to know about high-net-worth divorces in Virginia.
Prenuptial and Post-Marital Agreements
It’s common to find prenuptial and post-marital agreements used in high-net-worth marriages. Depending on the terms of the agreement, some spouses may choose to challenge the enforceability and validity of the agreement based on a number of causes. It’s important you have your agreement prepared by a family law attorney and have your future spouse review it with their own independent counsel. This reduces the risk of having your agreement declared invalid during a divorce.
Spousal Support
The theory of equitable distribution extends to spousal support, or alimony. The court can require the higher-earning spouse to provide financial support to the other spouse depending on:
- How long your marriage lasted; and
- What their standard of living was like during the marriage.
Family Business
If you and your soon-to-be ex own a family business together, it is highly recommended to have an expert provide a valuation on what the business is worth. It’s important to note there may be a number of restrictions regarding withdrawals and transfers.
Property Division
Property division is often one of the topics that makes a high-net-worth divorce so complex. Couples may have multiple residences, vacation homes in other states or countries, yachts, and other assets that are located out of the country. If you have a lot of separate property, there are instances where commingling funds might make something you perceive as separate property be marital property now.
If your divorce is contested and your spouse wants you to wind up with “nothing,” there may be a chance he or she is hiding assets or liquidating them in hopes of preventing you from getting any proceeds. This may require retaining an expert, like a forensic accountant. Forensic accountants can do more than just provide a business valuation total, they can look for hidden assets and uncover attempts at liquidating known ones.
Retaining a Virginia Divorce Attorney
These are just some of the issues high-net-worth couples may encounter during a divorce. There are many other complex topics that can arise. If you are preparing for a complex or high-net-worth divorce, you need a Virginia divorce attorney who has access to the resources and experts needed to protect your assets and your rights. Contact Cravens & Noll PC at 804-330-9220 to schedule a consultation at one of our five conveniently located offices in Western and Central Virginia.
At Cravens & Noll, an experienced Virginia law firm, we are Your Lawyers For Life and have protected and served the rights of over 30,000 people just like you throughout Virginia across 4 Decades in Business. This is why we have been voted one of The Best Law Firms and The Best Attorney in Richmond by the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
We know that every legal case is always…personal. No matter what you are facing right now our attorneys will provide the solutions you need, at a reasonable price. Whether divorce, personal injury, criminal charges, or bankruptcy. We work hard to be your lawyers for life. That means giving your individual case the one-on-one attention and care it deserves.
Our team of trusted and local lawyers will never give false expectations about the potential outcome of your case. You can count on a realistic assessment of your case, in order for you to make a sound decision.
With offices in Richmond and Harrisonburg, we will assist you with dedicated and professional legal advice. In times like this, you need answers, stability, and confidence. Our calculated approach quickly evaluates and stabilizes your situation immediately to prepare you for the legal matters ahead. Our goal as your attorney is that you feel immediate relief from the moment you contact us. We can meet with you face-to-face, by video, by telephone, or together in our office.
Contact our Virginia attorneys today for a consultation. At your appointment, we will ease the burden on your shoulders and provide you with options on how to proceed. Before taking a case, Cravens and Noll lawyers provide an initial consultation for clients.
October 13, 2018
Can a Reconciliation Agreement be an Alternative to a Divorce?
Reconciliation agreements spell out what both parties in a troubled marriage need to do in order to get back on track, and includes what will happen if it does or doesn’t. If your relationship is having serious problems, do you want to save it? If so, this may be worth a try and it has the benefit of some certainty over what will happen if the relationship ends in a divorce or not. If you live in the Richmond, Chesterfield, Henrico and Harrisonburg areas and think this approach might be right for you, we may be able to help.
A reconciliation agreement is a postnuptial agreement allowing couples to give themselves a chance put their marriage back on track while stating in advance the terms of a split if the reconciliation fails or succeeds.
One could include a promise to get substance abuse treatment, stop having extra-marital affairs, or a promise by one or both parties to work less and give more time to each other. If these goals aren’t met, the practical details of a divorce will already have been agreed to and formalized.
These agreements allow couples to have a fresh start
Written commitments shared with others may be more likely to stick, especially if grave consequences of failing are also spelled out. They can help couples feel more secure personally, emotionally and financially because there is a future path spelled out, even if it may split in two in the future.
Reconciliation agreements can prevent some of the unknowns of a divorce and may help avoid the emotion and cost that comes if a divorce happens in the end. The terms of a split written into an agreement hopefully would’ve been agreed to when a couple is more hopeful and constructive rather than at a bitter end of a relationship.
A reconciliation agreement could be created at any time after a marriage takes place
It may help a couple after serious problems have come up. It could be the result of marriage counseling or the help of a family law mediator. This agreement may also be an option if the couple no longer lives together but haven’t yet gotten a divorce.
This agreement can try to set down who will have what kind of child custody as well as who will pay how much child and spousal support. If the couple divorces it will ultimately be up to a judge to decide whether or not the agreement is enforceable as is or needs to be changed. Child support that deviates from state guidelines may not be approved and child custody arrangements will need to be in the child’s best interests.
A reconciliation agreement needs to meet several requirements to become legally binding in Virginia
It needs to be a written document explaining the terms of their agreement. The spouses must both sign under oath and their signatures need to be witnessed by a notary.
A judge can “affirm, ratify and incorporate by reference” the spouses’ agreement in the divorce decree, the court order ending the marriage. Once affirmed, ratified and incorporated, the divorce settlement becomes a part of the divorce decree and either spouse may ask for court enforcement of the terms.
If you live in the Richmond, Chesterfield, Henrico and Harrisonburg areas and you think your marriage might end in a divorce and want to discuss creating a reconciliation agreement, call Cravens & Noll P.C., at 804-330-9220 or fill out our online contact form to schedule an initial consultation. We can discuss your situation, your legal rights and your best options for moving forward.
At Cravens & Noll, an experienced Virginia law firm, we are Your Lawyers For Life and have protected and served the rights of over 30,000 people just like you throughout Virginia across 4 Decades in Business. This is why we have been voted one of The Best Law Firms and The Best Attorney in Richmond by the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
We know that every legal case is always…personal. No matter what you are facing right now our attorneys will provide the solutions you need, at a reasonable price. Whether divorce, personal injury, criminal charges, or bankruptcy. We work hard to be your lawyers for life. That means giving your individual case the one-on-one attention and care it deserves.
Our team of trusted and local lawyers will never give false expectations about the potential outcome of your case. You can count on a realistic assessment of your case, in order for you to make a sound decision.
With offices in Richmond and Harrisonburg, we will assist you with dedicated and professional legal advice. In times like this, you need answers, stability, and confidence. Our calculated approach quickly evaluates and stabilizes your situation immediately to prepare you for the legal matters ahead. Our goal as your attorney is that you feel immediate relief from the moment you contact us. We can meet with you face-to-face, by video, by telephone, or together in our office.
Contact our Virginia attorneys today for a consultation. At your appointment, we will ease the burden on your shoulders and provide you with options on how to proceed. Before taking a case, Cravens and Noll lawyers provide an initial consultation for clients.
September 26, 2018
How Can I Make My Separation as Painless as Possible?
The emotional pain and stress of a marital separation can vary depending on the situation. If your spouse is abusive the separation may be welcome but if you still love your spouse and feel there’s just something missing, something that needs to be worked out, that feeling of “we’re so close yet so far” it can be a tough time. If you think you need time away from your marriage and live in the Richmond, Chesterfield, Henrico and Harrisonburg areas, Cravens & Noll can help.
In Virginia to get a divorce, there needs to be grounds for it but they don’t have to be fault based grounds (like adultery, felony conviction, cruelty, desertion or abandonment). You can use no fault grounds if you don’t have any fault ground or you do, but would rather have a no fault divorce. To use grounds for a no fault divorce, you have to be separated for a year (or six months if you don’t have minor children and you have a signed agreement in place).
Separation can be a stepping stone to a divorce or a time out that’s needed to repair a damaged relationship. To make the most of this time, here are some suggestions,
- What do you want? Do you want a divorce eventually? Do you want time to see if you can turn the relationship around? You need to be honest with yourself and to your spouse about what you really want. Listen to each other without blaming or arguing.
- Give each other time. Separation can be painful. Your emotions may range from looking forward to a new start to bitterness, anger or hopelessness. Take time to process whatever feelings come up and work through them in your own way. If you think you’re making progress, take more time away than what’s needed to file for a divorce. There’s no hurry.
- Make agreements for everything including bank accounts, bills, living arrangement for your children and insurance issues. Discuss whether dating would be appropriate. If you’re heading towards a divorce, it may not be a big deal. If one of you thinks staying married may be in the cards, dating may be a deal breaker. Talk to an attorney before making a formal agreement.
- Be as kind as you can. Tensions can run high during a separation. You may be close to the edge and fall into old habits of fighting and sniping at each other. Try to let it go. Whether the marriage survives or not, more tension and aggravation won’t do either of you any good.
- Don’t try to change your spouse. If he or she hasn’t changed while you dated or during your marriage, don’t expect it during a separation. If you spouse can’t be on time for anything, lacks much interest in your kids or works too many hours, it will probably continue. Be accepting except if those habits include physical, emotional or sexual abuse. Draw boundaries.
- Be honest with your kids. Unless your kids are very young, they know what’s going on even if they can’t understand everything. Be as honest as you can with them, tell them they’re loved by you and your spouse. What you should skip is dragging your spouse through the mud or blaming him or her for the marriage’s problems. Your kids have enough to deal with, don’t make them pawns in a game to punish your spouse.
- Take care of yourself. Talk to your most trusted friends or family members. Tell them what would be helpful to you right now. See a therapist if you are having a hard time managing your feelings. Your life will probably be very busy and stressful as you move into separation, especially if you have kids. Take some time off to look after yourself each day, even if it’s only fifteen minutes to cool off, focus and think.
If you live in the Richmond, Chesterfield, Henrico and Harrisonburg areas and you think your marriage might end in a divorce and want to discuss how a separation would work, call us at 804-330-9220 or fill out our online contact form to schedule an initial consultation. We can discuss your situation, your legal rights and your best options for moving forward.
At Cravens & Noll, an experienced Virginia law firm, we are Your Lawyers For Life and have protected and served the rights of over 30,000 people just like you throughout Virginia across 4 Decades in Business. This is why we have been voted one of The Best Law Firms and The Best Attorney in Richmond by the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
We know that every legal case is always…personal. No matter what you are facing right now our attorneys will provide the solutions you need, at a reasonable price. Whether divorce, personal injury, criminal charges, or bankruptcy. We work hard to be your lawyers for life. That means giving your individual case the one-on-one attention and care it deserves.
Our team of trusted and local lawyers will never give false expectations about the potential outcome of your case. You can count on a realistic assessment of your case, in order for you to make a sound decision.
With offices in Richmond and Harrisonburg, we will assist you with dedicated and professional legal advice. In times like this, you need answers, stability, and confidence. Our calculated approach quickly evaluates and stabilizes your situation immediately to prepare you for the legal matters ahead. Our goal as your attorney is that you feel immediate relief from the moment you contact us. We can meet with you face-to-face, by video, by telephone, or together in our office.
Contact our Virginia attorneys today for a consultation. At your appointment, we will ease the burden on your shoulders and provide you with options on how to proceed. Before taking a case, Cravens and Noll lawyers provide an initial consultation for clients.
September 13, 2018
How Can I Control the Costs of a Divorce? Four Tips to Reduce Costs
The most important thing a couple can do to reduce the costs of a divorce is to eliminate, or at least narrow as much as possible, whatever areas of disagreement you may have with your spouse. The more disagreements there are and the less cooperation between parties, the costs in time, energy, emotion and money increase. There are many other things to consider when getting a divorce, but reducing the costs of a divorce is key. The attorneys at Cravens & Noll P.C., can work with you to try to limit as many costs as possible.
Reduce the areas of disagreement
Virtually any issue in a divorce such as splitting up assets, spousal support and child custody, if not resolved through an agreement could be litigated so a judge decides the outcome. The more litigation there is, the more costs there are and, depending on the circumstances, they could be substantial. An uncontested divorce, as opposed to one that’s hard fought, has a much lower cost.
That being said, being agreeable for the sake of making a divorce less expensive can have long term costs. You need to at least talk to an attorney before seriously engaging in any negotiations with your spouse. You may have rights you aren’t aware of and be entitled to certain things. You may just give all that up if you aren’t fully informed of the law. It’s much better to make an informed decision on a divorce agreement than quickly making one then later trying to pull it apart.
Resolve your differences with the help of a mediator
If the parties can’t make an agreement amongst themselves a mediator may be a wise investment. A mediator is a neutral third party who tries to help parties resolve disputes. They are often attorneys or retired judges. They charge by the hour and that expense is normally shared by the parties, so there is a cost to using a mediator. But if the parties are open-minded and willing to get help with coming to an agreement this can be far less expensive than litigation.
Retain the right attorney
An attorney is like any other professional. The more he or she has done something, the more knowledge he or she should have, the more effective and efficient the person should be. A “jack of all trades” attorney who takes a variety of cases may charge less but you may end up paying more for the attorney’s on the job divorce training. Things may take longer and the result may cost you far more in the long run than you saved in the short term, especially if a court decision needs to be appealed.
Cooperate with the attorney.
You may dread the divorce process and try to put it out of your mind but that won’t make it go away or speed up the process. If your attorney asks you for information or documents, respond in as timely a way as possible. Be proactive and cooperative. Don’t put things off until the last moment or skip scheduled meetings. The less the attorney needs to follow up with you, the less the attorney has to spend time getting what he or she needs, the lower the bill. Time is money. Don’t waste it.
If you live in the Richmond, Chesterfield, Henrico and Harrisonburg areas and you think your marriage will end in a divorce, call Cravens & Noll P.C., at 804-330-9220 or fill out our online contact form to schedule an initial consultation. We can discuss your situation, your legal rights, the potential costs of a divorce and your best options for moving forward.
At Cravens & Noll, an experienced Virginia law firm, we are Your Lawyers For Life and have protected and served the rights of over 30,000 people just like you throughout Virginia across 4 Decades in Business. This is why we have been voted one of The Best Law Firms and The Best Attorney in Richmond by the Richmond Times-Dispatch.
We know that every legal case is always…personal. No matter what you are facing right now our attorneys will provide the solutions you need, at a reasonable price. Whether divorce, personal injury, criminal charges, or bankruptcy. We work hard to be your lawyers for life. That means giving your individual case the one-on-one attention and care it deserves.
Our team of trusted and local lawyers will never give false expectations about the potential outcome of your case. You can count on a realistic assessment of your case, in order for you to make a sound decision.
With offices in Richmond and Harrisonburg, we will assist you with dedicated and professional legal advice. In times like this, you need answers, stability, and confidence. Our calculated approach quickly evaluates and stabilizes your situation immediately to prepare you for the legal matters ahead. Our goal as your attorney is that you feel immediate relief from the moment you contact us. We can meet with you face-to-face, by video, by telephone, or together in our office.
Contact our Virginia attorneys today for a consultation. At your appointment, we will ease the burden on your shoulders and provide you with options on how to proceed. Before taking a case, Cravens and Noll lawyers provide an initial consultation for clients.