How Virginia Law Determines ‘Best Interest’ in a Child Custody Case in Richmond, VA

By W. Allan Burns, Jr., Partner at Cravens & Noll, P.C.

If you’re going through a divorce or separation in Richmond and custody of your children is at stake, you’ve probably heard the phrase “best interest of the child” more times than you can count. But what does that actually mean? How do Virginia judges decide what’s truly best for your child when parents disagree?

I’ve represented parents in custody cases throughout Central Virginia for years. I’ve sat across from worried mothers and fathers who want nothing more than to protect their relationship with their children. The uncertainty of not knowing how a judge will decide is one of the most stressful experiences a parent can face. In this article, I’ll explain exactly how Virginia courts approach custody decisions and what you can do to present the strongest case possible.

Understanding Virginia’s Custody Framework

Virginia law recognizes two types of custody: legal custody (the right to make major decisions about education, healthcare, and religious upbringing) and physical custody (where your child lives and spends their time). Legal custody can be joint or sole.  Physical custody can be defined as physical with mother, physical with father or shared.

The “best interest of the child” is the legal standard that guides every custody decision in Virginia. When parents can’t agree, a family court judge evaluates your family’s specific circumstances to determine what arrangement best supports your child’s wellbeing.

The Ten Statutory Factors Virginia Judges Must Consider

Virginia Code § 20-124.3 lays out ten specific factors that judges must consider when determining custody. These aren’t suggestions, their requirements. Let me walk you through each one.

1. The Age and Physical and Mental Condition of the Child

Judges evaluate your child’s specific needs based on their age and any physical or mental health considerations. A toddler has different needs than a teenager. The court examines whether each parent can realistically meet the child’s current needs, appropriate supervision, care, and support for their developmental stage.

2. The Age and Physical and Mental Condition of Each Parent

Your ability to physically and mentally care for your child matters. Judges assess whether you’re capable of providing day-to-day care. If you have health issues that limit your ability, that factors into the decision. Having a mental health condition doesn’t automatically disqualify you, what matters is whether you’re managing it appropriately and whether it affects your ability to parent safely.

3. The Relationship Between Each Parent and Each Child

The strength and quality of your relationship with your child is crucial. Judges want to know: Who has been the primary caregiver? Who helps with homework and attends doctor’s appointments? Who knows the child’s teachers, friends, and preferences?

This is where documentation matters. I tell my clients to save emails showing involvement, keep calendars of school events, and maintain records of day-to-day parenting. These details paint a picture a judge can understand.

4. The Needs of the Child

Every child has unique physical, emotional, educational, and social needs. The court examines which parent is better positioned to meet those specific needs. This also considers the child’s need for stability and continuity. Children thrive on routine, and courts are reluctant to disrupt established patterns that are working well.

5. The Role Each Parent Has Played in the Child’s Upbringing

This focuses on historical patterns. Who has been responsible for medical appointments, school communications, and extracurricular activities? In many families, one parent has taken on more day-to-day responsibilities. That doesn’t mean the other parent loves the child less, but courts recognize these patterns and often seek to maintain them, especially for younger children.

6. The Propensity of Each Parent to Support the Child’s Relationship with the Other Parent

This is one of the most important factors. Virginia courts strongly favor parents who encourage their child’s relationship with the other parent. If you speak negatively about your ex in front of your child, refuse to cooperate on scheduling, or make visitation difficult, judges notice, and they disapprove.

I’ve seen parents with otherwise strong cases lose custody because they couldn’t demonstrate willingness to co-parent effectively. The judge wants to see that you understand your child benefits from both parents, even if you personally dislike or distrust the other parent.

7. The Relative Willingness and Demonstrated Ability to Maintain a Close Relationship with the Child

This examines which parent is more likely to prioritize active involvement in the child’s life. It’s not enough to say you want custody, you need to demonstrate you’ll make your child a priority. For working parents, this might mean showing flexibility in your schedule or having backup childcare plans.

The court looks at your track record. When you’ve had parenting time in the past, how have you used it? Have you been reliable, engaged, and focused on your child?

8. The Reasonable Preference of the Child

Virginia law allows judges to consider a child’s preference, but this is nuanced. The weight given depends on the child’s age, maturity, and reasons for the preference. Courts give more weight to older children’s preferences, particularly teenagers. A 15-year-old’s well-reasoned preference carries more weight than a 7-year-old’s desire to live where there are fewer rules.

I always caution parents against putting children in the middle. Encouraging your child to “tell the judge” they want to live with you can backfire badly. Judges can usually tell when a child has been coached, and it reflects poorly on the parent who did it.

In some cases, judges may appoint a guardian ad litem, an attorney who represents the child’s interests, especially in high conflict cases.

9. Any History of Family Abuse

This is the most serious factor and can be dispositive. Virginia law defines family abuse as any act involving violence, force, or threat that results in bodily injury or places someone in reasonable apprehension of death, sexual assault, or bodily injury.

If there’s credible evidence of family abuse, whether directed at the child or the other parent, it dramatically impacts custody. A protective order, police reports, medical records, or witness testimony all serve as evidence. In cases involving domestic violence, Virginia law presumes it’s not in the child’s best interest for the abusive parent to have custody. This presumption can be overcome, but it requires clear and convincing evidence, an extremely high bar.

If you’ve been a victim, document everything. Keep copies of protective orders, medical records, police reports, text messages, and emails. If you’re accused of abuse, take it seriously and get legal help immediately. You need an experienced Richmond family law attorney to protect your parental rights.

10. Other Factors Necessary to Consider

This catch-all allows judges to consider anything else relevant that doesn’t fit the other nine categories, including:

• Work schedules and childcare arrangements
• Proximity of each parent’s home to school and activities
• The child’s connection to neighborhood, school, and friends
• Extended family relationships and support systems
• Stability of each parent’s home environment
• Ability to communicate and cooperate

I’ve seen judges consider everything from which parent takes the child to church (when religion is important) to which parent has family nearby to help with childcare to whether one of the parents is a smoker.

How Richmond Judges Apply These Factors

Understanding the factors is one thing; understanding how family court judges apply them is another. Judges don’t use a scorecard where each factor gets equal weight. They look at the totality of circumstances and use these factors as a framework.

Some factors carry more weight depending on your situation. If there’s domestic violence, that overshadows others. Judges also heavily weigh consistency and stability; children generally do better with predictable routines and minimal disruption.

What You Can Do to Strengthen Your Custody Case in Richmond

If you’re facing a custody dispute, here are concrete steps to show the court you’re acting in your child’s best interest:

Be involved and document it. Attend school events, medical appointments, and activities. Save emails, maintain calendars, take photos. When it comes time to show the judge your relationship with your child, you’ll want written evidence.

Maintain stability. If possible, stay in the same neighborhood. Keep your child in the same school and activities. Courts value continuity.

Support the other parent’s relationship. Facilitate visitation, speak respectfully about your ex (at least in front of your child), and show the court co-parenting is about your child’s needs, not your feelings.

Address personal issues proactively. If you’re dealing with mental health concerns, substance abuse, or other challenges, get help. This demonstrates responsibility and commitment to being the best parent possible.

Create a realistic parenting plan. Consider your work schedule and practical logistics. A plan that looks good on paper but won’t work and won’t impress the judge.

Keep detailed records of concerns. If you have legitimate safety concerns, document them. Save concerning texts, document missed visitations, keep a factual journal. But be careful documentation should be relevant, not petty grievances.

Work with an experienced attorney. Custody cases are complex and have high stakes. You need someone who knows how Richmond judges approach these cases and how to present your case effectively.

Protecting Your Relationship with Your Child

In my years practicing family law in Richmond, I’ve learned that custody cases are rarely about “winning”, they’re about finding an arrangement that truly serves your child’s best interest while protecting your relationship with them. The parents who fare best are those who show the court they’re focused on their child’s needs, not on defeating the other parent.

At Cravens & Noll, we’ve helped countless Central Virginia families navigate custody disputes with sensitivity and skill. We understand the fear and uncertainty you’re feeling. We know how much is at stake. And we’re committed to fighting for an outcome that protects your child’s wellbeing and your parental rights.

Every custody case is unique. Virginia’s best interest factors provide a framework, but how they apply to your specific family depends on the details of your situation. The decisions you make now, how you communicate with your ex, how you document your parenting, how you present yourself to the court, can have lasting consequences.

If you’re facing a custody dispute in Richmond or anywhere in Central Virginia, don’t navigate it alone. Contact Cravens & Noll today to schedule a consultation. We’ll review your situation, explain how Virginia’s custody laws apply to your family, and develop a strategy that puts your child first.

Call us at 804-330-9220 or reach out online.

Your child’s future, and your role in it, is too important to leave to chance.

Let us be your lawyers for life and guide you through this challenging time with the experience, compassion, and advocacy you deserve.