How can concerned parents help their children navigate the holidays marked by either of these situations? There are several things that parents and loved ones can do to make the holiday brighter rather than more stressful.

First and foremost, it is important to acknowledge that a child’s desire to be with their other parent or to actively communicate with him or her at this time is reasonable. No matter what has occurred between the child’s parents or even the other parent and the child, a strong biological urge exists that children seek their parents’ attention and affection. This urge can be particularly strong during the holidays. Making the child feel guilty for seeking out their other parent in various ways will only make him or her feel alienated, confused and misunderstood.

In addition, it is important to share your own traditions with your children and to celebrate the season with them, even if you will not be together on the actual dates of whatever holidays you choose to observe. Children need to know that whatever may be going on in your life, you will make the effort to celebrate with them and appreciate their presence. Children of divorced parents often internalize their fears and concerns about how their parents are coping with their own stress. Taking time to celebrate with your kids will reinforce that they are important to you.

Source: Huffington Post, “How To Help Your Kids Survive Their First Holiday Season With Divorced Parents” Susan Saper Galamba, Dec. 17, 2012

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Divorcing couples who are not in agreement over matters such as child custody, alimony orproperty division may need to resolve their disputes in court.

With Virginia divorce as complex as it is, many couples want to minimize the additional complications they introduce into the process. The following are tips to make a difficult situation a little easier, both financially and emotionally:

• Be clear about finances: It is critical to disclose all assets and liabilities during divorce. If the court discovers that a spouse has covered up such information, that spouse could experience serious financial consequences. In addition, both spouses should ensure that they control their own financial resources-rather than leaving the other spouse’s name on a personal credit card, for instance-and that they are aware of all of the couple’s assets and liabilities.
• Be willing to compromise when appropriate: Divorce can lead the most levelheaded people to act on impulses they later recognize as being unhelpful. It is important to keep the ultimate goal in mind. It is also vital to be willing to negotiate with the other spouse when compromise is feasible.
• Be careful about what you say and where you say it: In this digital age, offhand comments can be permanently recorded and subsequently used as evidence. Divorcing spouses should be mindful of both social media and social contacts. When in doubt, they are probably better off keeping their thoughts to themselves, or at least keeping them neutral.

Virginia couples who face divorce often have a choice about how to proceed. If they are in agreement that a lower level of conflict is preferable, they may be able to save a significant amount of time, stress and money.

Source: Ten Things That May Help Avoid Costly Divorce Mistakes

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